If you live in a country different from your country of origin, or if you work with languages, then you may have experienced moments that I simply call blackouts. It can hit you in various forms and in the most unexpected situations. It can happen if you speak a language at a high level and also if you have just started to immerse yourself in a new world. There are the lucky ones, the truly bilinguals, who possess two (or more) mother tongues by birth. They freely and confidently change languages as the situation requires it. Then there are the rest of us.

Russian, German, English, Tibetan, Mongolian, Chinese, Sanskrit, Arabic, Swahili and Yoruba. These are the languages I was either encouraged to learn or I did that willingly. In primary school Russian was a must, then, when the central enthusiasm for learning it slightly decreased, we could pick an other language. I have no idea why but I went for German, very likely because that was the only available option in my school that time. Sadly, it’s only a distant memory these days. At the age of 14 I started English, with not much success within formal education, but thankfully I had positive experiences in this regard outside of the school walls. My first major at university was Tibetan, which came with the requirement of getting a taste of the main languages of the big Orient, and although it was an useful exercise, which significantly expanded the capacity of my brain, I didn’t get far either with Chinese, Sanskrit or Arabic. Mongolian became my other major and my interest in that part of the world and its language is set and solid. Swahili came naturally, as a result of my forever favourite topic – Africa. My first readings about the continent were from East African writers and after a while I enjoyed being able to read them without having to look for the meaning of words, expressions, customs and traditions. African writers enjoy enriching their books with their first language and everyday customs, and that can be a challenge to understand for an untrained reader who has no specific knowledge of the region. Then, when I started my master’s course in African Studies in London (dreams do come true!), I opted for Yoruba as one of my minors, knowing too well, what it means to get a glimpse of the language of a culture you aim to learn about. Are you getting confused? Don’t worry, so am I.

The most confused I was when I had to use three languages on a daily basis in Mongolia. I was working for the Fine Arts Museum, where my colleagues hardly spoke any English. I guided tourists in the exhibition (in English) and I worked on the catalogue of the museum (from Mongolian into English). My salary was about 200 USD per month so after work and the university classes I attended, I went home to my hostel room and continued with English to Hungarian translation work for a little more money. There were moments when my brain refused to function. I may have achieved a state of mind which is so sought after by many who practice meditation, that is the state of emptiness (apologize if you know the concept, I know I hugely simplified it). During these moments I was unable to utter or think a word, so sudden and smashing the clash of civilizations was in my head.

An other time, on an other continent, after spending a full week in close proximity with a group of people whose native language was English, in a dim moment I realized that I was talking to one of the group members in Hungarian and I didn’t even notice it. My brain gave up, I fed her too much information and she was unable to process it.

Whoever says they love learning languages, I apporach them cautiously. Learning a language is hard work, it takes blood and sweat. I often hear that English is an easy language to learn. It is not. If you want to properly communicate, making yourself understood, heard and listened to, then you have to work your butt off to gain the words and necessary insight, no matter what language it is.

I think of language learning as a tool to understand the world better, and most importantly, to understand friends and strangers I meet along the way. We act, speak and think differently in a foreign language and I like to know who is really behind the scenes. And I know already which language will be the next to try my luck with so I can peep behind that curtain!